Peds

man, peds is fun. these little rugrats are like a barrel of monkeys. half the kids: absolutely innocent and cute as hell, you wish you could play pikaboo all day. sometimes i get so caught up playing and making funny noises with them that I forget I'm there to do a medical exam. But then there's the other half that are, well, cranky as hell. serious: they start crying their heart out over absolutely nothing and then all this snot runs out of their mouth and they freakin piss all over your white coat as you go to make sure their damn testicles have descended appropriately. the best is when they're twins and you do two exams at once. once, one twin was the embodiment of peace and the other was just straight up meaner than dick cheney and who would want to deal with dick cheney? anyways, i'm pretty good with the kids. next week is newborn nursery and that's really gonna be fun. those little kidos don't even really look human. it's like their bodies just took a crash course through evolution, from scales and fishlungs to what they are now and their faces are still settling in, especially because they just got all squished up coming out of the birth canal and uterus and sometimes they have huge distorted heads because of the suction vacuum gizmo we have to use. don't worry, their heads return to a normal oval in like 4-6 weeks. oh, and their cry, man, it is very different, it's not like crying as much as it is just simply screaming with these small airways and vocal cords that sound like those keys all the way on the left side of the piano except the noise doesn't end, the arghh..... just goes on and on and on and on until you get them to suck on your pinky, which they just absolutely love, and that might get them to quiet for like five minutes at which point you better have finished your exam and can let the nurses deal with them.